Okay so yesterday I pledged to make some big changes to how I have been taking care of myself. Then I kicked the day off with a fail basically eating sugar for breakfast. Right then and there I would usually just throw the day under the bus and be like ‘oh I’ve ruined it I’ll start tomorrow’.
That’s not good enough.
I got myself back on track.
I went for a 45 minute walk. I spent some time thinking about my meals. And then by some miracle timing I got an email from ‘energetic mama’ with a delicious recipe for a pumpkin and date loaf.
I need this in my life!
Now this email kickstarted some thoughts in my head- because energetic mama is being healthy, raising a family, working AND running a website and blogging about it. That means it’s totally achievable!
It got me thinking about some of the barriers to exercise that I’ve put in place for myself not only in the last five months but since becoming a mother. I feel guilty when I do anything that isn’t about Isabella. That’s a fact. So when I asked her to sit in her pram so we could go for a walk, I felt guilty. I made the experience fun for her too- I walked along the creek so she could watch the water flow (and got bogged a couple of times too) and along the track between the trees and passed the horses (but they must have been inside the stable because we didn’t see them) and yet I still felt so guilty. Guilty about what? That my daughter enjoyed fresh air and sunshine? Yes, for some ridiculous reason that made me feel guilty.
Let’s talk about mamma guilt.
I’m not alone right? I’m sure it’s not isolated to just me, right here in Adelaide SA and that other Mammas around the world can relate to what I’m talking about.
The fact is, I know it’s ok for me to do some things for myself. In fact, it’s totally necessary- I know I need to nurture and take care of myself. I need to be in a good place, physically and emotionally, in order to be at my best for my family.
When it comes down to a choice between cleaning the house, preparing dinner, getting the groceries, folding the washing, doing another load- which is for the family- or having something to eat, go for a run, or even rest- which is for me- the earlier always wins! (Even though the later will benefit the family too! See I know it- but I don’t!)
Even when I try to sit down and rest I spend the whole time thinking about what I SHOULD be doing (and that’s definitely not resting- because I’m a horrible mother if I sit and rest) BUT ITS NOT TRUE! And I know it’s not true-but I still feel like it’s true.
Anyway today I went for a walk. And I felt guilty about it. But I’m glad I did it. Maybe I’ll feel less guilty about it tomorrow. I’ll let you know!
And I am going to try out baking that loaf!