*SPOILER ALERT* this blog post contains content from the recently released ‘Harry Potter and the Cursed Child’. So if you haven’t read it, perhaps save this post to read for later. Because trust me, when your done reading it your going to want to debrief it.
Let us begin.
What the actual heck.
What in the name of.
What did I just read?
So I just spent the last six months or so being incredibly excited about the fact that a new Harry Potter book was being released. My friend and j even ‘joked’ (I was completely serious) about booking a hotel room for the weekend. We would have read the book at the same time and stopped at intervals to debrief the storyline. Because we are total HP geeks.
But we didn’t. Mainly because she is about to have a baby and I jet setter across the world the day the book was released. Priorities right?
To start with, I was surprised I was able to purchase the book for only $15, and from Kmart of all places. I ran in the Sunday we were leaving to grab a couple of last minute bits and pieces and saw the book as I walked in. Yay! I bought it.
I examined the cover- it’s a play? It’s not written by J. K Rowling?
I should have prepared myself better from that moment.
Somehow in all the hype and the build up, I missed the fact that this was not a full HP story. I was expecting a beautiful 600 page detailed story by one of the greatest authors of all time. This was not that.
I read the first twenty pages or so and really struggled with the format. Obviously it is written like a play. So it’s rather lack lustre and dry and there’s not much detail about the surroundings, there’s not much setting the scene.
There’s not much of anything really.
Then there’s the fact that within only a few chapters, we jump through like four years of Albus’ life?
And who is Albus anyway?
Yeah yeah, I know he is Harry and Ginny’s son. But who is this kid? Cos he isn’t Harry and Ginny’s kid.
I mean, I get that being the son of Harry Potter is a lot of weight to carry on your shoulders, but I don’t see Harry and Ginny not noticing that and discussing it a little sooner.
Okay so the time turning. Seriously if we could spend more than five pages there each time that would be great. You know, just to add a little bit of detail to the story instead of skimming over everything!
Oh and we are going to be besties with Draco? Just like that?
And the trolley lady has claw things? That’s her way to keep student on the train? How about a simple binding spell? Then we could have avoided the whole encounter with the dark world nonsense and carried on happily ever after?
And something else- so here they all are hiding- and they decide to make polyjuice potion to turn into Voldermort. And the kids are like ‘hey Bathilda Bagshot will probably have all of the ingredients to make that!’. And then next minute Harry is transforming into the dark lord.
What the heck.
At what point did someone go to Bathilda Bagshots place and get the ingredients?
What part of Voldermort was used to make the potion effective?
What is going on?
This story has SO many flaws I cannot even begin to understand how J. K Rowling put her name to the story.
And as a long time Potter fan I’m completely devastated. Because I have been looking forward to this story for so very long. I have wondered about the future for so very long. And then here it is.
Now maybe I’ll go write my own Harry Potter fan fiction and give the story an ending that it actually deserves. Just for me.